October 2, 2024
Contributing towards this website feels fulfilling. I'm still trying to get over this anxiety I have of sharing things with people, even when anonymously. It's strange because I have this feeling even during positive achievements. I feel like I'm a person that is very grey - I feel a lot of opposite feelings alongside each other. I don't necessarily care what people think about me, but at the same time, I do. It's possible that I might care when I think of someone specific, and don't care when it's in general. For example, I could comfortably go out in public naked and not really care, but I worry that I talk too much around people I'm close with. It's interesting feeling this self confidence and self doubt at the same time.
October 1, 2024
I have been so busy lately that I haven't had time to work on my language. I went to visit my friend over the weekend and then work has been so mentally challenging that I don't feel like coding afterwards. It's a bummer putting my engineering energy to a billion dollar company, rather than putting it towards passion projects. But at least I get paid to do what I love, so I can't be too upset. Either way, I am becoming a better engineer, whether it's the challenges at work or challenges with personal projects.