Thoughts
March 7, 2026
I feel so lost again in what I want. So i figured the first step is to write down my thoughts and organize them a little bit instead of just feeling the negative. Overall, I want to be impressive, I want to be fit and smart and interesting. Health: I want to be more athletic. Be able to run a mile in 9 minutes (I honestly don't think I can run a mile right now so this seems like a good goal), do a pull up, do a handstand. I think to achieve this. I am going to run a mile once a week and half a mile 3 times a week minimum to start with. Career: I don't know. I need guidance in what I want and what I should do to get there. But I feel too conflicted in what I even want to get started anywhere. I like the comfort of my current job but I don't feel challenged at all. It feels good and bad at the same time to be in this position. Do I want to go get a master? It wouldn't make sense to get one unless I wanted to switch my job and I just don't know if I want to. Hobbies: Maybe instead of seeking fulfillment in career, I should aim to do in with my hobbies. I want to practice music but i lack the passion for it. I miss the passion I used to have for anything and I'm trying to find it for anything but I just don't have it in me, and it hurts.
Going into 2026
2025 was full of major life changes which make me genuinely love my life in terms of what and who I have in it. But it made me realize how much I'm lacking within myself. I've been in a major slump the last few months, through all of the exciting things that have happened and I am forcing myself to climb out of it.